Friday, October 28, 2005

I Can't Find My Camouflage Shirt

I just got back from au bon pain. I resisted going there for the longest time, ever since that time I tried to order a bagel. But now that I've cracked their complicated ordering system, it's not so bad.

On the way out the door, I grabbed a plastic knife to spread the cream cheese with. But I've looked all around my desk and I can't find it anywhere. It's made of clear plastic, so it may as well be invisible. I know I put it in the bag. Or maybe my pocket. I know it's not in my jacket, because it was warm today and I didn't bring it.

Where's my stupid knife?! Why can't I ever just eat a bagel without some kind of drama?

But that's not all. Guess what came yesterday:

God damn it, Joe


And so it begins...

17 comments:

fakies said...

I have a spork in my desk, if that helps.

Like the new McDonald's headset. Very "would you like a hot apple pie with that?" classy.

John said...

I found a regular-type knife, but the clear plastic one is still missing. It's probably right in plain sight on this ridiculous oriental rug we've got here. That thing is a serious contender for the bane of my existence.

I don't want to talk about the stupid headset.

fakies said...

Sounds like fodder for an upcoming post. On the actual day this time.

John said...

What are you talking about? Are you suggesting that I posted 4 things from last week yesterday afternoon and tried to pass it off like nothing happened? Is that what your saying?

NYPinTA said...

Maybe all of your posts were made of clear plastic too and have been here all the time but we couldn't see them....

That thing is a serious contender for the bane of my existence. A rug versus Joe. That should be interesting.
But I thought you weren't calling him Joe anymore on this blog?

Michele said...

"But I thought you weren't calling him Joe anymore on this blog?"

Yeah, you're going to get fired! I mean, you even have his head bouncing around singing, "Lick me, lick me, everyone wants to lick me..."

John said...

That reminds me, he sang that Lick Me song last week. If I had a lighter, I would have held it over my head and swayed to his sweet melody.

Oh wait, I meant I'd set my eardrums on fire. My mistake.

fakies said...

You might get a neckache, tilting your head at the right angle to get the lighter flame in there. Pouring gasoline in your ear first would simplify the process.

Anonymous said...

Hard to argue with logic like that...

BTW, what else from the Dr. Seuss kitchen do you have ratholed in that desk KTM?

fakies said...

A rocket with a sprocket. Oh, and five fish from somewhere - there's a red one, a blue one, and well, three others.

John said...

Understandable. Neil Young almost cut his finger off while slicing a ham sandwich.

Michele said...

Guess what Hello Direct sent you today? ;)

John said...

Dear God, what now?

Michele said...

A bill. I haven't opened it though. Should I and share the good news?

John said...

Why not. We might as well have it on the public record for the eventual lawsuit.

Ben O. said...

Dude . . . there is an invisible plastic spork right here. Did you lose one?

I think the time/space portal I recently installed on my desk has been acting up.

Sorry - Ben O.

Anonymous said...

HAHA John. The phone thing for C. Inc came huh? Are you gonna take it to work? Maybe you could talk to JB on it. Do you want to go grab a bite to eat for lunch sometime. Mike-
aka PSG Mike

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