Friday, February 06, 2009

My Heart Will Go On

I got the results from those ultrasounds from the other day. The doctor said while she is confident that I do in fact have Marfan Syndrome, both scans showed my aorta to be perfectly healthy. I'm going to have to go back once a year so they can keep an eye on it, but she reassured me that if and when the aortic tissue expands too much, I'd just need to take pills to regulate it as opposed to surgery. I can deal with that.

So as far as dropping dead goes, I think I'm in the clear. but I've still got joint and tissue deterioration to worry about. She suggested Tai Chi, which is supposed to help me avoid things like my thumb or even my whole wrist trying to escape. Conversely, yoga is one of the worst things I could do. I really don't need to be stretched out any more than I already am.

Next up is an eye exam, to see if I have a dislocated lens. She said if I start seeing silvery flashes in front of my eyes, go to the nearest eye treatment facility right away, because it could mean that I have a detached retina. Actually, I don't even know if detached retinas and dislocated lenses are the same thing or two separate conditions. I could easily look them up, but there is sure to be accompanying pictures and I want no part of that.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

JMDb Strikes Again

Since the day he got here, and probably even before that, Joe's been periodically shouting "Bailiff, whack his pee pee!" And as with everything else that spews from his mouth, no provocation is needed. We'll be sitting in complete silence, then "Bailiff, whack his pee pee!" comes booming out of his office. Perhaps even more baffling is the revelation yesterday that Mooney claims to have never heard Joe say this at any point over the last eight years. You've got to envy Mooney's acute ability to suppress and/or block out stuff like that.

I guess it made him curious, because today Mooney said "Bailiff, whack his pee pee!" to see what Joe would do.

"Who was it that said that?" Joe asked. "I forget his name. It was a black guy."

"You mean that's actually from something?" asked Mooney.

"Yup. It was a bit on Rowan & Martin's. 'Bailiff, Whack his pee pee!'"

"Rowan & Martin's? They said that on TV?"

"Oh yeah, you could say anything back then." Joe informs him.

I guess when you've done as many drugs as Joe has (by his own admission) it's easy for whatever's left of your brain to confuse the "Here come de judge" skits from Laugh-In with a Cheech and Chong bit about statutory rape.