What's more pathetic than trying to microwave powdered cappuccino for four minutes? Oh, I don't know, maybe copying and pasting a story about trying to microwave powdered cappuccino and pretending it happened to you? Oh, and forgetting to remove a link so the person you stole from can easily find out about it.
On Technorati yesterday, I noticed a MySpace blog post called "Kimmy Vs. Microwave," that looked an awful lot like a post I did last month called "Man Vs. Microwave." I mean, to be fair, it could have just been an amazing coincidence. Sure, she used the exact same wording as I did, but there are some subtle differences. For example, nowhere in my title does the name Kimmy appear, but it's clearly visible as the first word in hers. Also, I assumed the mug of indeterminate origin belonged to Joe, whereas she theorized that it belonged to Satan (an ex-boyfriend). And nowhere does she describe it as a Weymouth MRI cup, although she does include the exact same two pictures I used, with "Weymouth MRI" clearly written on the face of the mug.
Of course, the most striking difference, the one that Johnnie Cochran would dramatically roll out as his most shocking evidence if he weren't dead, is an extra sentence in the Kimmy version about a "fricking latch sticking out of the microwave door" that gave her first-degree burns on her "wenis." That's a striking blow to my case. As clumsy as I may be, my "wenis" has never been anywhere near a microwave door. I'm pretty sure that could damage the swimmers.
I'll give her credit. For consistency's sake, she changed this:
So let's see, with the caramel, cappuccino and popcorn, that's microwave 3, man 0.
To this:
So let's see, with the caramel, cappuccino and popcorn, and 1st degree burn, that's microwave 4, Kimmy 0.
But I'm going to have to take that credit right back, because she left the link in the word "caramel", the reason I even found out about her.
So of course I had to leave a comment, seeing as how we had such similar experiences. I wrote, "Hey, the same thing happened to me!" And eagerly awaited a reply. We could swap stories; maybe she also saw a Pink Floyd laser show, or got poison oak all over her face.
But alas, not long after I left my comment, her MySpace page, which was previously visible to anyone, is now a private profile that can only be seen by friends. It's a shame, because we could have all gone over and said hi. I know John T would have loved to chat, since two of her other blog posts seemed suspiciously familiar to anyone who's read the Schprock Report. Oh well.
UPDATE Apparently "wenis" isn't nearly as dirty as I thought it was. It's just slang for the skin on your elbow. Which explains why she had one and why it would burn on the door. But it still doesn't explain why anyone would pretend to burn their...elbow skin...to begin with.
19 comments:
How do we know that you didn't plagiarize her? You sneaky devil...
Cracking her myspace password and changing that caramel link so that it would come back to your blog. You really should be ashamed.
But seriously, I read the terms of MySpace and what she's done does violate those terms.
Just for kicks, I'd report her. Stealing from you is probably not too bad 'cause we all know what your posts are like, but stealing from Schprock? That's gotta be stopped! ;)
Keep us appraised, if nothing else it'll give you something to blog about.
But it does make me wonder, if she'd have changed the link, you'd have never known. I wonder if you can embed a hidden link in all of your posts just to find out about this kinda thing.
Yeah, I guess the smoking gun would be the two photos she posted, that I took with my camera phone.
I don't really care if someone tries to pass off my stuff as their own. The real travesty here is that she included the St. Elmo's Fire lyrics, but not the video of the burning masochistic Tickle Me Elmo. How can you not include the video? The only way that video could be any better would be if "Clowny Clown Clown" was playing in the background.
"But seriously, I read the terms of MySpace and what she's done does violate those terms."
It's pretty harmless. More sad than anything else. Now if she were one of those ones that draw you to their page and then it's filled with "FREE NOKIA CELL PHONES1!!!" or "Click here for my nude photos" then we'd have a situation.
And I've got plenty of stuff to write about. Just yesterday I got granola in my eye. I could write about that. Actually, I guess I just did.
Well, anyway if I knew how to embed a hidden link or anything like that I'd do it. I'm still trying to figure out how to get the ".html" back at the end of all my pages. It disappeared when they switched from Blogger Beta, and now I can't click on any recent posts because Firefox doesn't recognize them as an html file. But no one else has mentioned it, so either I'm the only one who uses Firefox or no one tries to click on the previous posts. I still want to fix it though.
"...I don't really care if someone tries to pass off my stuff as their own."
I do! Would you feel the same if you were getting paid for what you wrote? Why should it be different if it's your blog? It's yours and someone stole it.
YEs I would feel different, but since I'm not, let her pretend she can't make coffee in the microwave. I can't really see how that would be beneficial to her in any way.
At least I managed to keep my wenis intact.
Someone can take you at your word that you don't care; they can take your work, and submit it to someone who would pay them for it. What if they used it to win a contest or something? Be careful about posting that you "don't care" what they do.
OK, for the record, I DO care if anyone uses anything I did for monetary gains. I'm broke as hell; if anybody should be using my stuff for monetary gains, it should be me.
Oh, and if anyone has a MySpace account and would like to friend her, please do. And make sure you leave the "You are worse than Michael Jackson" image from a few posts down as a comment on her main page.
I use Firefox and can't open any of your old stuff either.
Oh, and kimmy is a wanker. If she can't be bothered to come up with her own blog posts, you know she cheats like crazy at anything else!
"Well, anyway if I knew how to embed a hidden link or anything like that I'd do it. "
I think you could if you assigned your text the same color as your background, in this case, white. Now what HexCode that is...
Then you can put the link somewhere between paragraphs or the title or something.
Unless of course someone has to actually click the link for Technorati to work...
I'll be happy getting the html suffix back.
Yeah... that is kinda freaky.
Mine doesn't do that, and I was forced to upgrade too.
i use fire fox and can click on your old stuff...when was the last time you upgraded everything for it?
Does Keith Olberman have a new candidate for 'Worst Person in the World'?
Seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to steal someone else's stories just to keep your blog going. Even worse - she's not very good at it! Pack it up, sweetie; you're done.
I'd friend her, but you're on there as well. And I called her a bitch on your blog. If she's stealing your stuff, she's had to have seen that.
And I'm with Michele. You should care. Your blog is funny. What if someone with powers to make you some money happened upon it? (Could happen.) But what if they happened upon hers first? She gets your opportunity, you get granola in your eye.
PS: Snuka!
I've been thinking (always dangerous): Wenis? Shouldn't it be "wotum"? I mean, if it is based on some sort of similarity...
I went to school with a girl they called Wenis. I thought it had something to do with her extracurricular activities.
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