Thursday, July 21, 2005

There Be Whales in Heaven

I've never sat through an episode of Star Trek, in any of it's variations. Actually, that's not true, I saw a few episodes of the old cartoon when it was on Nickelodeon in the eighties. I think it was on before Danger Mouse.

I got hooked on Star Wars as a kid, because Return of the Jedi was one of the first movies I ever saw in the theater. I was fascinated by all the different types of creatures up on the screen. Jabba the Hutt, the Gamorrean guards, the Rancor, Yoda...I'd never seen anything like them. And it didn't hurt that each and every character, even if they were on screen for all of .2 seconds, had it's own action figure. Jabba was on my bedsheets, Darth Vader and the Emperor were on my Burger King tie-in glass (which I still use), and 3P0 and R2D2 were on TV, warning of the dangers of smoking. Who knows, if it weren't for that PSA, I could be smoking out of a hole in my neck right now.

But I could never get into Star Trek. I don't know what it is, I guess the notion that all sentient beings in the universe look just like humans with slightly different forehead wrinkles is a little disappointing. It's kind of like how Lewis Black described his trip to New Zealand; after flying 22 hours to get there, the least the people could do is speak a different language. After traveling billions of light years, the least the aliens could do is have an arm growing out of their face or something.

Even though I never watched the show, I have seen most of the movies. The ones with the original cast, anyway. I saw IV and V (the one when they went back to Earth to save the whales and the one where God wants a spaceship) in the theater. I've always felt the strongest connection to Star Trek IV, because it takes place in the present. Having some ties to the present almost makes the audience feel like they're part of the story. That's how I feel, anyway. I was able to get into Farscape because John Crichton is a present-day astronaut that makes Simpsons references. He's easier for to relate to than, say, a fleet captain from hundreds of years in the future.

Anyway, as you must have heard by now, James Doohan, who played the Starship Enterprise's chief engineer "Scotty" on the original series and through seven movies, died on Wednesday. He was 85. Yestarday on WAAF, they played this song by Scotty's former captain as a tribute.

I saw Mr. Doohan in Boston a few years ago. Jose is a comic book fanatic, and I had nothing better to do, so I went with him to this big convention. He was there, signing autographs. But even then it was clear that his Parkinson's was taking over. His hand was too shaky to hold the pen, so he had someone else hold his hand as he signed. I felt so bad for the poor guy.

So today I salute James "Scotty" Doohan. Not just for saying one of my favorite lines from Star Trek IV, ("There be whales here!") but also for being on the shore on D-day as an officer of the Royal Canadian Army, and for having me convinced for years that he played Mr. Belvedere. Here's to you, Scotty.

And here's to me for avoiding any reference to "beaming up."

Scotty
James Doohan
March 3, 1920-July 20, 2005

17 comments:

NYPinTA said...

I was bummed to hear he had died. He seemed like a nice guy.

John said...

Did you see the article about the town in Scotland that's going to put up a plaque in his honor, even though he actually Canadian?

John said...

If you click on the song, the best part is at the end, when the gospel singers run through a list of ways you could die: lung cancer, heart attack, diabetes, drug overdose, choke on a chicken bone, hit by a lightning bolt, spider bite, airplane crash, car wreck, a cap in your aaaaaass.

Anonymous said...

Yeah....that Shatner is a classy guy. Such moving lyrics. I WANTED to die while I was listening to it...

John said...

Actually, Ben Folds wrote the song.

Anonymous said...

So? With the right person, it could have been (maybe) a decent song (although I doubt it). Why don't people STOP the insanity that is Shatner "singing"?

John said...

Oh, I guess Shatner actually did write the lyrics. Ben Folds arranged the music and produced the album, which also features Joe Jackson, Aimee Mann and Henry Rollins.

Anyway, it's great. Play it at my funeral.

fakies said...

I always hated Star Trek too. I loved Star Wars though. That's cuz ewoks are much cooler than Bill Shatner.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam me up my pants."

NYPinTA said...

I didn't click the mp3 link because I had a horrible feeling it was going to be Shatner... singing.

"That's cuz ewoks are much cooler than Bill Shatner."
Really? I can't tell them apart.

BTW- nobody is playing anything at my funeral. Don't intend to have one. I plan on living forever.

John said...

You HAVE to click on it! It's life-changing. Life changing, I say!

John said...

I don't eat chicken with bones in them. I won't rule out the lightning though.

John said...

He was on the end. I think Tracy Lords was in the middle.

NYPinTA said...

Oh, and I don't think anyone with a name as cool as Wah Kee should die of lung cancer. He should get hit by lightning. Much cooler.

Or not.

John said...

"BTW, when you say 'There Be Whales in Heaven' you aren't saying he is a whale... are you? Because, you know, it isn't nice to speak ill of the dead."

That's not what I meant. It's just, you know, that's what Scotty would say.

Wah-Kee's brother's name is Wah-Shing, which I think sounds cooler. It's almost like a sword being unsheathed. Wah-shing! Wah-Kee is the sound of two swords clashing in battle. Wah-kee! Wah-kee! Kee is the cooler brother, though. I'll be sure to hand him a big metal pole to hold onto next time he goes out for a smoke in the rain.

fakies said...

Wah-shing? I think that's what I do to my clothes.

NYPinTA said...

hahahahahahahahaha.

John said...

They were born in Hong Kong, which was a British colony. So Wah-Kee was going around a few summers ago saying he was British.

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