Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Morbid Etiquette

A few months ago, I got a cryptic email from Trina with the subject line "mishap." It read "Can't blog. Had an accident. want exclusive?" followed by her phone number to get more details. I was a little worried. What could have happened that she couldn't write in an email? Maybe she was just a head in a jar, using what little power she had left to type with her tongue. Concern and curiosity (and much prodding by Michele) prevailed over my hatred of talking on the phone, and that Sunday I called and got the story.

This is all old news now, of course, how she went up in the attic at work to fix a leak, lost her balance and fell through the ceiling, landed on the copier eight feet below, broke all kinds of body parts and was laid out for weeks. Since she wouldn't be able to post, my job was to let everyone know she wasn't dead.

That was back in April. Since then, she's still somehow managed to write more often than me. Not that that's particularly difficult. But her last post was July 3, about an upcoming trip to Lincoln. The promised week-long hiatus came and went, and here we are almost at the end of July, and still no update. Not only that, but no comments on other blogs, and no emails.

Judging by her blog, people in Trina's town have a habit of checking out early. At first I thought she might have Jessica Fletcher Syndrome, but after seemingly disappearing for weeks, I'm really getting worried. Even the normally aloof Lord Loser is concerned; if you look closely, you can see the tear stains in his beard.

So here's the thing: she hasn't been heard from in weeks, I've still got her number, and it looks like once again I've got to be the one to find out if she's still among the living. Should I call, or wait it out some more? I've gone much longer without posting, but this is someone who writes something new every day. It's just kind of embarrassing to call someone and say "I thought you might be dead." Then again, I'm not sure devoting an entire post to the subject is any any better, but at this point, a comment from Trina making fun of me for all this would be a welcome sight.

And what if something bad did happen? I'm not very good at giving bad news, and I'm even worse at hearing it. To buffer myself from the worst-case-scenario, I went back to her post about her friend that died in Iraq, and Googled his name, NE and Iraq. From there I found the local newspaper article about him, and, with one eye closed, checked the paper's obituaries for the last 60 days. She wasn't in there, so that's a good sign, right? Unless they haven't found her yet.

I'm hoping there's a simple explanation, like she hasn't been able to get internet access, or her arm is stuck in a vending machine. Or maybe I'm out of the loop. Maybe someone else knows what's going on. But I've got this nagging feeling like this is serious. And there's only one way to find out.

Wait...how about a text message? I don't usually do those, but in my warped mind it's less scary than actually speaking on the phone. Is it okay to text someone you've never actually met to make sure they're alive?

31 comments:

Michele said...

"Is it okay to text someone you've never actually met to make sure they're alive?"

YES. Do it.

John said...

What if they don't have texting as part of their plan? Do they incur charges? What if it's a land line and not a cell. I think it's a cell.

Michele said...

I think she'll understand. Really. But if not, she'd have to come all the way here to Boston to kick your butt. So I think you're safe... ;P

mr. schprock said...

Hallmark has a whole line of "Wondering if you're dead..." cards. Why not send her one to show you care?

Kathleen said...

She last posted July 3, as you so noted, it's now July 24. That's 3 solid weeks. I completely understand your dilemma and would be asking the same question, if I were. However, being not you and you having her phone number, I have to agree with Michele.

Call her and find out that she's alive and well, and just caught herself a fine example of the male of the species and she's forgotten all about us.

If she doesn't have unlimited text messaging, it'll cost her a dime, probably to get the message. You can send her a check if you're that worried about it. ;-)

Kathleen said...

*sigh* ...if I were you.

I hate it when I miss a word.

John said...

Alright, I did it. Of course if it's a home number, the text won't even go through, so...I don't know.

NYPinTA said...

Call her!
If she isn't dead, then she can make fun of you on the phone instead of here in your blog for all the 10 or so people in the world to see. She can't actually climb through the phone you know. She's not the little girl from the ring.
Unless she did get stuck in a well. If that's the case, you're screwed.
Good luck.

(But yeah, 3 weeks is a long time. So I'm worried too.)

fermicat said...

It's a scary job, but someone has to do it. And you are the keeper of the Phone Number. Do it!!

John said...

Son of a bitch.

Michele said...

For crying out loud, I'LL call her if you can't! Sheesh!

John said...

That works for me. But if a detective or next-of-kin answers, don't tell me.

Michele said...

No problem. I'd just rather find out what's going on. Curiosity overrules imagined internet protocols.....

Kathleen said...

It's not just curiousity, it's worry for a friend...even if just an Internet friend.

Keep us posted, please.

LL said...

See? I told you'd be able to get Michele to do it...

LL said...

Well... because you won't call... I did something that I've never done before, I googled her.

The bad news is I found 2 obituaries that mentioned her name. The good news is that it wasn't KTM, and even then, that name was only listed among the survivors.

In other words... Someone's gotta make the call, and that someone lives in the greater Boston area.

NYPinTA said...

Any news?

John said...

Well, the guy that played Eldin on Murphy Brown wasn't Oliver Platt. It was Robert Pastorelli. And he died of a drug overdose in 2004.

Other than that, no I haven't heard anything.

Michele said...

I promise I will make the call tonight.

Michele said...

Also, LL please email me at violetdragon727@yahoo.com please. Thanks.

John said...

Hey, would guys be this worried about me if I disappeared for a weeks? And by that I mean, were you guys worried the several times when I've already disappeared for weeks at a time?

trinamick said...

Ok, which one of you sent the St. Bernard to my door with a roll of toilet paper in the barrel around his neck? Did you really think I was trapped on the toilet?

And I am the little girl from The Ring. Some time when you least expect it, you're going to come home and there will be a dime missing off your dresser.

John said...

Holy socks!

Michele said...

Girl, you had a lot of people worried about you!! Whew! Thank God your alive....Don't scare us like that ever again!!

John said...

I knew it all along. And you guys were worried. Well, okay, I was starting to think you were abducted by carnie folk, but I was confident you'd escape.

trinamick said...

You realize, of course, that I was laughing so hard while reading this post that I had tears rolling down my face? I tried to answer the phone and almost choked to death.

Now I'm going to have to go Google myself. (Dirty.) Bunch a friggin' detectives, ya are.

John said...

Hey, I just got a text message.

NYPinTA said...

Yay!! She's not dead!!
But now I know where all my spare change is going! *grr*


Again: Yay.

mr. schprock said...

She's not dead anymore?

LL said...

Why didn't you comment yesterday KTM? That way I wouldn't have had to Google you... Now I just feel all dirty inside. *shudder*

hmmm... perhaps I'll have to google you again. :P

Kathleen said...

Oh, thank heavens.

And John, if we were worried about you, we could contact Schprockie and he would tell us all we needed to know.

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