Whenever my friends get together, it's usually at Nicks house. Dating back to high school when his old house was right next to the school, it's sort of been our unofficial headquarters. We all hung out at my house a couple of times, but it never really took as a hangout spot.
That all changed the day I moved out and my brother Glenn took over my old room (with most of my stuff still in there.) Now there's like five kids crammed in there at any given time. They bring their girlfriends. They stay the night. My old room is now the place to be.
The other day, a bunch of his friends came over. Somehow, my grandmother made her way into the middle of the pack, and they all came in together. Since the 18-year-olds towered over her, she pretty much got in the house undetected, until she spoke up.
"Oh, you have a lot of company."
My brother and his friends disappeared into his room for 36 hours, while my grandmother shuffled over to couch and sat down to talk to my mom. She was very distraught.
"Well, I was outside feeding a little bird, and a squirrel came over and ate it right up. It didn't leave anything, not even the legs."
My dad, who was bringing my mom a glass of milk, did everything he could to stifle his laughter so he wouldn't spill the milk all over the place.
"A squirrel ate the bird?"
"Yes. It ate the whole thing right in front of me. There was nothing left."
"Are you sure it didn't just fly away?"
"Deb, I was standing right there, the squirrel ate the bird."
"Squirrels don't eat birds."
"I'm telling you, this squirrel ate the bird. Legs and all."
My parents said they couldn't stop laughing about the thought of killer squirrels. My dad said he saw a gray cat later in the day, and that's probably what she saw. Personally, I think she was throwing bread at a pile of leaves the whole time, like Mr. Magoo.
If you're here from SouthofBoston.com, welcome! Be sure to check out the archives. I planned on adding a "Best of" section over the weekend, but something shiny distracted me and I forgot. For everyone else, I'm one of ten finalists in SouthofBoston's Battle of the Blogs. Starting today, they have a link to my blog so people can check out all the finalists. The judges will be looking at the comments, so ...I don't know...be profound.
28 comments:
I'm not sure. She was still doing it last year. Meat, pasta, salmon...she'd cook it, put it on a plastic dish and leave it out at the edge of the woods.
Why does your grandma throwing meat into the woods remind me of the classic 1981 Dirk Benedict film called Ruckus?
PS- Good luck on the blog contest thing...
Was that a riddle?
LOL. No.
You know, I've heard about those crazy killer squirrels. It might just start with stealing corn cobs. But before long, they're sitting just out of reach of dogs on chains. After that, eating birds is the next logical step. I'd lock my windows at night if I were her.
Actually, that bit about leaving food at the edge of the woods reminds me of "The Village." Is she trying to appease the creatures that live in there? I hope she wears a "safe" color when she does it.
We're not even sure what creatures she's feeding. But she thinks if she doesn't feed them, they'll die. They're wild freaking animals!
A few years ago, we found a dead cat near her shed. It didn't have a collar, so we dug a hole and burried it. The next morning, the hole had been dug out, and there was nothing left of the cat, expect a few tufts of fur. I don't know anything about cats, could another cat have dug it up and eaten it? It was probablly coyotes; we've got a few back there.
Then again, it could have been that killer squirrel. It ate the plate of chicken and now it has a taste for blood...
"…the hole had been dug out, and there was nothing left of the cat, expect a few tufts of fur…"
Isn't that the Circle of Life we learned about in "The Lion King"? It's a beautiful thing to witness, isn't it?
I still say it was a pile of twigs or leaves. Most of the time she can't tell what she's looking at.
"the real riddle: What is the NYPinTA goodness?"
If you behave, maybe someday you will find out. ;)
""…the hole had been dug out, and there was nothing left of the cat, expect a few tufts of fur…"
Isn't that the Circle of Life we learned about in "The Lion King"? It's a beautiful thing to witness, isn't it?"
I was thinking more Pet Semetary than The Lion King...
Yeah, 'cause everyone's really been dropping some intellectual gems until you came along...
I've never heard of Ruckus. Or Dirk Benedict.
"Or Dirk Benedict."
What? He was the original Starbuck! And Face on A-Team.
All I remember about the A-Team is Mr. T. and the theme song. I've never seen Battlestar Galactica.
"All I remember about the A-Team is Mr. T. and the theme song. I've never seen Battlestar Galactica."
Boy, you make me feel...old.
If it makes you feel any better, now I can't get that song out of my head.
I remeber that other space show, with the robot with the bowl cut that sounded like Bugs Bunny.
*sigh* That was Buck Rogers.
Now I feel old too.
"I remeber that other space show, with the robot with the bowl cut that sounded like Bugs Bunny."
*rolls eyes* Hey, sweetheart, there is such a thing as quitting when you're ahead....
Dirk Benedict was the man. And the Face of the man.
My mother-in-law throws all manner of table scraps in the back yard. Then my father-in-law complains about the cats that frequent the place. I get feeding the cats and the bread for the birds, but some of the stuff she tosses out there just sort of rots. Like cooked vegetables.
My grandmother has put hot manicotti out there. You know, just like they'd find in the wild.
"Boy, you make me feel...old."
" Now I feel old too."
That's because you two are old...
Oh... and for you g_s.
Something profound.
(hope that helps your chances)
"Oh... and for you g_s.
Something profound."
I can't believe it took 33 comments for someone to do that... Are we slipping?
Yes.
maybe it was a ninja squirrel? - AS
ddfdfd
Um...yeah... ddfdfd. That's just what I was thinking.
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