Changed His Name Again, Diddy?

I don't usually write about the news. The way I see it, you can get that stuff anywhere. It would be silly for me to write, "Hey, guys, did you see that scientists have discovered new way to make macaroni and cheese?" and then sit back and wait for the comments to come flooding in. I like to think I offer my readers entertainment value that they just can't find anywhere else. For instance, a few weeks ago, Jose told me the following story:

I had a customer ask me, "Do you have Oliver Twist by Winston Churchill?" I thought I heard wrong, so I asked her to repeat it. She said, "Winston Churchill, you know, the same guy who wrote A Christmas Carol."

That's the sort of stuff I write about. You're not going to find any stories about Nick's bachelor party on the Drudge Report.

However, yesterday I saw something that I couldn't pass up. Apparently, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs is changing his name again. That's right, folks, P. Diddy is no more. Now he's simply "Diddy." Seriously. He said the 'P' was confusing people.

"I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer."

Yeah, that 'P' was holding him back. His name was too closely associated with urine before, but now that he's broken the shackles of that extra letter, his career can really take off!

That would have been the funniest thing I read all day, but then I saw this:

"During concerts, half the crowd is saying 'P. Diddy'--half the crowd is chanting 'Diddy'--now everybody can just chant 'Diddy.' "

Amazing.

Let's take a look back at Diddy's various monikers throughout his career, shall we? And while we're doing it, let's make most of it up so I don't have to search the wikipedia file on him.

Before Sean "Puffy" Combs burst onto the music scene with his innovative technique of saying, "Uh-huh. Yeah," over other peoples' songs, he was known in certain circles as Sean "Honey" Combs. This was during his early years as a cabaret performer. He upgraded to "Puffy" after an allergic reaction to shelfish left him with a swollen face minutes before he was to appear on Hip Hop Hoedown, an experimental stage show co-sponsored by Black Entertainment Television and the Nashville Network. Although the concert was a disaster, Puffy remained determined to achieve his goal of saying "Uh-huh. Yeah," over other peoples' songs for a living.

He formed Bad Boy Records in 1993, and changed his name to a slightly more sinister "Puff Daddy." With his new label and a name that conjures images of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, "Puff Daddy" took the world by storm. By 1997, kids all over the world were singing along, saying "Uh-huh. Yeah," over other peoples' songs. Puff Daddy's dream had come true.

However, controversy struck in 1999, when a string of charges led Combs to change his name yet again, this time to P. Diddy.

"See, the cops, they're all looking for Puff Daddy. But I'm like, 'Who dat? I'm P. Diddy. I don't know anybody named Puff Daddy.' And the cops are like, 'Oh, sorry, sir. We had you confused with someone else.'"

The P. Diddy ruse worked. Unfortunately, it worked a little too well. By 2005, most people had forgotten who P. Diddy was, and those that remembered assumed he'd been shot by a rival artist years ago.

With news this week that Combs is back with a fresh new name, it's clear that not only was Diddy not gunned down by West Coast rivals, but he'll be saying "Uh-huh. Yeah," over other peoples' songs for years to come.