Phantom Deli Meat

A few weeks ago I found out that the soul-hungry phantasm residing in my bedroom was nothing more than a symptom of sleep paralasis. OR WAS IT?! Yeah, it probably was, but some questions remain unanswered.

Saturday we invited my family over for dinner. I put their coats in the bedroom. When it was time for them to go home, I went into the room to get the coats and...the whole room smelled like meat.Uncooked meat.

What smells like meat in here?

I held each coat up to my nose, trying to find the source of the meaty stench. It wasn't coming from any of the coats, although Glenn's had that musty basement smell. What the hell smelled like meat? The room didn't smell like that earlier.

So I just went around, smelling everyone and everything. I couldn't find where it was coming from. I checked the trash can. Nope, not in there. The sheets for some reason? Not that either. It was the weirdest thing: unexplained meat smell. We sprayed some air freshener and it went away, which is good, but i kind of feel cheated now because I have no idea what it was that smelled like that. Maybe it was the evil ghost thing. It could have been making a sandwich.

Oh yeah, and it snowed. A lot. I'm not blaming a ghost for that, but I'm not ruling it out, either. About two feet of snow (or 72,000 kilometers, if you went to public schools like me and have no freaking clue how to convert things to metric) accumulated in the front lawn last weekend. Because of the nature of snow drifts, there's a weird semi-circle area in front of the house where you can actually still see grass, then a six foot wall of snow.

Our road was closed for a day or so. The governer declared a state of emergency. Some coastal areas were experiencing flooding at high tide. Even though we live on the ocean, we didn't have to worry about that, because the ocean was frozen. I thought for a moment that this storm might actually be worse that that Blizzard of '78 everyone brings up at even the hint of a snowflake. It was pretty bad for a while, but today the road was opened and people were getting ready for work. I felt...cheated. For all this hype and buildup, everything should be closed for at least two days.

Brianna's school is closed for two days. I stayed home today to watch her. I've got my laptop, so I can still do work. But a few hours ago I started to feel sick. My head is pounding. I felt so dizzy I could barely stand up. Heavy doses of Nick Jr. didn't help. I know kids learn from repetiton and it helps them, but I was sitting at my computer and all I could hear was a Blue's Clues song about stacking things coming from the other room. Michele said the problem is that I'm dehydrated, so she gave me a keg of water and told me I had to drink the whole thing. I felt fine this morning, and now it feels like my head is going to explode. Is it really from dehydration? Or repetitive kids' songs? Or could the evil spirit thing, when it's not making sandwiches or tampering with the weather, somehow be involved?

Dear God, that was a terrible paragraph. I'm going to go lie down now.