Okay, suppose you're walking down the street, minding your own business, when a guy comes up to you and says, "See that guy over there? He likes to shove fish down his pants." Your immediate reaction would be that the guy that stopped you on the street wasn't right in the head.
But then you start thinking, "What if that guy really does shove fish down his pants? Nah, he can't. That's too ridiculous. But still..." And you just can't stop thinking about it. Does the guy standing on the other side of the street really stick haddock down his pants for reasons known only to him? He looks like a normal enough guy, but you'd never even seen him until about twenty seconds ago, so who knows? And if he doesn't, why would someone make something like that up? Maybe the first guy is crazy. How credible is he? Maybe they're both crazy. Maybe thinking about it for any extended period of time is making you crazy.
Your day was going so well, and now all you can think about is fishpants over there. Do you walk over there and ask the guy if he puts fish down his pants? No. How would you even go about doing that?
"I'm sorry sir, but are you in the habit of filling your trousers with fish?"
Assuming the guy doesn't punch you in the face, he might just shrug it off and go about the rest of his life thinking you were some loon that accosted him on the street. And I don't know about you, but I hate it when people I don't know think I'm a loon. You have to get to know me before you can think that.
And what if, throwing logic and common sense to the wind, this guy actually does stick fish down his pants? How awkward would that be?
"Excuse me, I know this is going to sound completely insane, but...um...do you...put fish down your pants?"
"Live fish or dead fish?"
"You tell me."
"Why, do you have a problem with people who stick dead fish down there pants?"
"Oh, no...I...I was just...this guy said..."
"You don't know what it's like, okay? You don't know. And screw you for judging me!"
"I'm not judging, I'm not judging. It's cool. Hey, whatever. I'm cool with that. You can't spell fetish without fish, right? But, why dead fish?"
"What's it to you?"
"I mean, you know, did they really deserve to die just so you could shove them in your pants?"
"Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"
Man, there's just no good way to work this out. You'd probably end up with an aneurysm. Good thing it's just hypothetical.
14 comments:
"Good thing it's just hypothetical."
Um...yeah. What a relief, huh? ;)
Dear god, you are not right in the head. Of course, neither is that guy with the fish.
The first guy or the second guy?
Is there something in the drinking water over there, because hooooly! You're all insane!
Thank God it's not snapping turtles…
Yeah. That's like, if I said to you, "Everything I say is a lie," would you believe me?
Aw, that's one of those questions that makes robots' heads explode.
(Oddly enough, that applies to both jose's and farrago's questions.)
He likes to shove fish down his pants.
I read that way too fast. I thought it read: "fists". Which is another problem entirely.
Hypothetically speaking... is there a particular type of fish he sticks down his trousers? If they're suckers, that leads us to one conclusion, but piranha takes us down a whole different path entirely.
Maybe he just smells like he puts fish down his pants!
That sounds like the kid who kept pulling frogs out of his pants! Wonder where these people live??
Okay, mine really was hypothetical. There's a kid that pulls frogs out of his pants?!!
Video was on the funniest videos last sunday. Nana saw it and the kid kept screaming everytime he pulled one out. Now if the parents was doing this to the kid - just plain mean. That kid will have real problems when he grows up. Hey thought I had problems because newspaper clipping showing your dad on a birthday. Under the photo says his name and friend! Guess who the friend was? Yup, got that right. It was me. Could have said with sister. Told Nana she messed me up for life!
The interesting thing would be to come up with context that makes it reasonable to put fish down your pants.
Here's a true story that makes the point about context. At a party once, Groucho Marx decided to have some fun. He went over to one of his friends and told him that another of the guests was an eccentric millionaire who liked to show people his money. Literally--he would take bills out of his pocket and ask people to look at them. Groucho asked the guy to humor him, and tell him that it was a nice-looking bill.
Then he went to the first guy and told him that the other guy was having a bad time financially and went around complaining that he never got to even see any money. He told him that if the other guy came over to him, he should show him a $5 bill, and he would appreciate it.
And so, a few minutes later, the whole party was treated to the sight of a guy taking a $5 bill out of his pocket and showing it to another guy, who stood around admiring it.
And so, if someone came up to me and told me some guy put fish downhis pants, I would probably write it off as being set up by Groucho Marx.
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