Wednesday, January 16, 2008

And If You Should Die Before You Wake...

Thank you, University of Sheffield. The school, which I totally heard of before reading the BBC News article, recently concluded a study of more than 250 children between the ages of four and sixteen, and discovered that they all saw clowns as "frightening and unknowable."

The study showed that hospitals "decorating children's wards with paintings of clowns to create a nurturing atmosphere could backfire," because, according to child psychologist Patricia Doorbar, "Very few children like clowns. They are unfamiliar and come from a different era. They don't look funny, they just look odd."

A companion artilce asks "Why are clowns scary?"

And it probably comes as no surprise to horror fans that a University of Sheffield study of 250 children for a report on hospital design suggests the children find clown motifs "frightening and unknowable".

One might suspect that popular culture is to blame. In It, made into a television movie in 1990, Stephen King created a child-murdering monster that appeared as a demonic clown.

King's It has sparked a slew of schlocky movies over the past 20 years, known as the killer clown or evil clown genre.

I don't know if I agree with that, though. Intentionally scary clowns aren't scary at all. In fact, to me anyway, they are the funny clowns. It's the innocent-looking ones that creep me out. Making clowns look "scary" takes away what makes them creepy in the first place. It's like Leslie Nielson. When he started doing comedies like Airplane! and Naked Gun, it was funny because he was spoofing serious genres, as well as his own previous roles as a serious actor. But then he started doing goofier and goofier roles, because by then he was known as a comedic actor, but it didn't work anymore because the reason his shtick was funny to begin with was lost along the way. The same thing goes for movies that spoof comedies. How do you spoof a comedy? It's a double-negative.

Clowns = scary.
scary clowns = not scary.

In light of this story, I sort of feel bad for clowns now. The ones that aren't serial killers are just trying to make kids happy. And how are they repaid? Kids screaming in fear, pants-wetting, angry parents, unemployment, and now even their images are being taken down from hospital ward walls because they're deemed too frightening. They just want to help the sick little kids. It's not fair that Hollywood has turned clowns into a horror genre goldmine. It's not the clowns' fault. You guys can point the finger at them, you can talk about Pennywise and Gacy, and if you do that. It's not fair. That's my quarterback. I mean clown. That's my clown.

My eyes have been opened. Sure, the makeup still creeps me out and the blood-red smiles are unsettling, but I'd like to open up what is hopefully the first of many talks to further improve human-clown relations. And I'd like to end today with a little selection from The Kinks

My makeup is dry and it clags on my chin
I'm drowning my sorrows in whiskey and gin
The lion tamer's whip doesn't crack anymore
The lions won't fight and the tigers won't roar

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
So let's all drink to the death of a clown
Wont someone help me to break up this crown
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
Let's all drink to the death of a clown

The old fortune teller lies dead on the floor
Nobody needs fortunes told anymore
The trainer of insects is crouched on his knees
And frantically looking for runaway fleas

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
So wont someone help me to break up this crown
Let's all drink to the death of a clown
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Let's all drink to the death of a clown.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

11 comments:

John said...

I think I know exactly what caused this whole "Scary Clown" thing, over twenty five years ago know. It was that damn clown doll that attacked the kid in Poltergeist. Because tons of kids, like me, had clown dolls just like that in their bedrooms, and they were never scary until after that movie. Then, suddenly, that same clown doll that used to stare lovingly back at you was filled with thoughts of murdering you in your sleep.

Kathleen said...

Kids of my generation loved Bozo the Clown...I wonder how he'd be viewed today.

NYPinTA said...

Clowns just kind of irk me. I've never found them to be funny. But they don't really scare me either.
However, I had a different recation to that scene in Poltergiest. Because of that, I had a distinct unease around stuffed toys if I'm alone.

John said...

That scene cemented both the fear of clowns AND dolls for me. I've eased up on the clowns a bit in my adult years, but dolls are still creepy. Not the Barbie style ones, but the bigger, "child-like" ones. Yeesh. They give me the willies.

LL said...

"The school, which I totally heard of before..."

Erm... is that right or should it be "never heard of before"?

Clowns don't bug me... neither do dolls. It was always that scary black object in the middle of the night that Eddie Murphy talked about. You know... you let your imagination run away and pretty soon the shadow says, "Hey... how you doin?"

fermicat said...

I blame it all on Ronald McDonald.

John said...

You mean Willard Scott?

Irb said...

On the Daily Show, they used to have a segment called God Stuff where John Bloom (aka Joe Bob Briggs) would show clips of funny, weird, and outright creepy television ministries.

One episode featured a locally produced show (can't remember what city) where a young woman was dressed as a clown and was wandering through the park, trying to ad lib some kind of bible lesson. At one point, she spots a dead bird. She PICKS IT UP and shows it to the camera while she yammers on and on about how "His eye is on the sparrow."

And people wonder why I don't go to church anymore...

Beth said...

I've always been terrified of clowns and have no idea why. I remember being a tiny tot telling my mom NOT to take me by the clown who murders the children. This was before "It" and "Poltergiest" and even before I knew of JW Gacey.

Children know something's just not right with clowns.

Tony Gasbarro said...

As far as I'm concerned, the clowns are alright.

Except the Gacy types.

Anonymous said...

Clowns don't bother me...I still remember when I went to Spooky World many many moons ago, and John walked into one of the things with a sign that I think said something along the lines of "Clowns killed my parents"

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