Yesterday I thought I'd make a cup of instant coffee, or to be more accurate, microwave up some water and powdered French Vanilla cappuccino mix. The instructions say to heat 3/4 cup (6 fl. oz) of cold water in a measuring cup on HIGH for 1 1/2 minutes or until hot. Then empty the contents of the envelope into a mug and slowly pour the water over it. Easy enough.
But what if you don't have a measuring cup? Or even a second cup just to heat the water in? All I've got is a "Weymouth MRI" mug of indeterminate origin. I think it might have been Joe's; he's probably had a few CT scans in his day. I could have heated the water in the mug and then mixed the powder in afterwards, but then the powder gets all clumpy and doesn't mix right. So I emptied the packet into the mug and then filled it three-quarters to the top with water.
Whenever I attempt to heat water in the microwave, it always takes several tries before its even mildly hot. That's why the instructions say 1 1/2 minutes or until hot. It's because on the first try, it's always tepid. Then lukewarm, and finally whatever you call a step above lukewarm. Regular warm, I guess. I thought I'd skip all that this time by just putting it in for four minutes.
Four minutes later, in place of the box-promised "delicous cup of rich, sweet, creamy cappuccino", there was, well, this:
Now you can say all you want that maybe four minutes is a bit excessive. You could say that the instructions said 3/4 of a cup, as in the unit of measure, not cup as in the variable-sized drinking vessel. But I think the driving force behind this little drink-turned-science-experiment was putting the powder mix in the microwave. Somehow, the combination of the powder, water and microwaves caused all but about a quarter-inch of water to expel out of the mug and onto the microwave tray, while hardening the powder and water froth to give it the texture and appearance of coral. For a minute I wondered if I'd stumbled upon a delicious new treat in the form of hardened rocks of cappuccino, but I was sadly mistaken. Still, it was surprisingly chewy for something that cemented itself to the wall of the mug.
Today, I made popcorn. The bag said two minutes. The bag is a filthy liar.
So let's see, with the caramel, cappuccino and popcorn, that's microwave 3, man 0.
Speaking of fires, I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea, I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me, burnin' in me...
3 comments:
Good thing I'm obsessively checking back here every few minutes, or else I might have missed this post.
Despite the clumpy aspect, that's usually the only way to effectively heat something like that in the microwave -- heat water, add powder.
Oh I don't know. It seems like adding powder (or any other solid ingredient) increases the chances of exploding in the microwave by a factor of ten. Every other week or so at work I watch someone put the instant oatmeal into the water, stir it up, and then microwave the combination. It has never once failed to explode the contents all over the microwave. I think you're much better off attempting to boil the water alone, and then add your stuff. Worst case - the water boils over and cleanup is a snap.
You know, the microwave oven was invented to simplify our lives.
And the popcorn packet says "two minutes, or until 2 seconds between kernels popping," or something to that effect. I just set the microwave for 5 minutes and wait until the popping slows down enought to where I can count "one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand," before the next kernel pops, and then I'm done.
And microwaves don't cook from the inside as is popularly believed. I saw that myth busted on "Mythbusters."
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