Okay, first of all, this was originally meant to be the June 7th entry, but Blogger went on strike or lapsed into a coma and otherwise refused to cooperate, so it was left in the queue until Blogger decided to play nice. Then I forgot about it.
But here we are, so let's get to it: Paris Hilton is completely useless and needs to go away.
She's famous for being famous. She was born into money, and used her wealth to make sure she was seen at all the right places, making her more famous, and even more rich. The fact that she has no talent and looks like a foot doesn't seem to matter.
Meanwhile, there's poor old Spare Change Guy. You've got to have a gimmick if you want to make it in the crowded market of eccentric street people, like the Asian lady that barks or the Even Better Guy. Yet Spare Change Guy stands head and shoulders above the rest of the pack, and he does it by simply asking if anybody has any spare change.
Panhandlers the world over have been asking the same thing for as long as there's been minted coins, but it's Spare Change Guy's delivery that makes him special. He meanders downtown, disheveled and disoriented, with arms extended, asking each individual he encounters if they have any spare change. And that's all he needs to do. Sure, some may know him as Spare Change Man, or Spare Change Dude, or as one MySpace page put it, "that guy who screams does anybody have any spare change," but everyone in Boston knows Spare Change Guy (not to be confused with Spare Change Newspaper Guy, the guy that sells the Spare Change newspaper.) He's practically a local institution.
Just how well-known is he? A quick internet search brought up a man-on-the-street interview with him in the Weekly Dig, a hip and edgy free newspaper for people too hip and edgy to buy actual newspapers. For people who refuse to click on links, the interview went as follows:
The "Do-You-Have-Any-Spare-Change" GuyJohn M. has frequently seen Spare Change Guy ambling around in the background on Fox 25 News in the mornings. They even mentioned him a couple of times. And the new freelancer even directed us to a fan-made Ween video featuring the guy. The song's pretty creepy, sort of like Bobby McFerrin meets Sesame Street, but sure enough, there's Spare Change Guy walking around the opening scene, repeating his trademark phrase.
Spotted scratching lottery tickets in Downtown Crossing
Do you have any spare change? Sir?
Hey, can I ask you a couple questions for the Dig?
Sure, that's a good paper.
Do you read it? What do you like about it?
I like the cartoons and some of the articles.
Some? Are there some you don't like?
You have to be interested in it to read it.
That's a nice beard you're sporting. Do you think they're coming back?
I don't know.
Why do kids listen to that rap music?
That's the music that's going down on the streets right now. I listen to some of it.
Really? Who?
I don't know their names. Do you have any spare change?
Basically, he's reached a near-Paris-Hilton level of ubiquity, but what does the poor guy have to show for it? A mangy beard and some scratch tickets, that's what. There's something wrong with the world when someone who had enough money for a lifetime to begin with is given even more money by the idiot masses who buy all the crap with her name on it because a magazine told them to. People know who Paris Hilton is, so they give her money. People know who Spare Change Guy is, so they walk on the opposite side of the street when they see him. What do you think he got, if anything, for the interview or that video? A couple of bucks? What do you think Paris Hilton commands for an interview? Given that they have arguably the same level of talent, it hardly seems fair. Spare Change Guy needs better management.
9 comments:
Or he could do what she did - dye his hair blonde, get blue contacts, a boob job, and have his nose fixed.
I bet he'd get a lot more change if he had better boobs.
Shoot... he could dance around a light pole then, and he'd get dollar bills!
What the heckola was up with Blogger last week? fussy, fussy, fussy.
Ben O.
Well, I did find one instance in which I could watch Paris Hilton, and that was the Video She Doesn't Want You To See (yes she does). I guess maybe it was sorta because she had her mouth full and she couldn't talk....
I think you would or could help the spare change guy. Your Blog article makes you stop and think. Maybe his appearance scares people, that they chose to cross the street. They all keep their eyes on him. After all that could be anyone of us in today's world. Today you have a good job and are working steady - and then boom - companies closing their doors or moving out of state. Then you see how different advertising companies sponsered the guy dancing his way around the world! If that isn't strange! Cool places he visited but probably never could if someone didn't come with this cockamamy idea. I guess it caught on and companies sponsered him. Instead of being a street beggar around the world. He lived pretty good and eat regular. I'm not saying there aren't those people who feel the country owe them. We owe the service men who gave up lives to keep us save. In the long run, not many people would be proud to be on welfare. I hate to admit that I'm one of those people who see's someone acting strangely and I go in a different direction. In this great country there should be no hungry and homeless. Then again there should be a cure for cancer and no such thing as aids. No we have to worry about epedemic of measels and the such. People coming into our country and not having the proper shots that could effect the rest of us. Let and American plan travel the list of do's & don'ts are long. I guess I've relieved myself of a few stressful topics.
That video was really bad. I mean, I was expecting something bad; but that was just terrible.It's like Devo on acid.
I think if anyone were to actually watch Devo while on acid, they would spontaneously combust. Which I would prefer over watching anything with Paris Hilton.
I would definitely give Paris Hilton all my spare change.
I'd give her my spare cyanide capsule...
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