With all the fighting going on all over the rest of the world, it's easy to miss what's going on in our own back yards. But my eyes have been opened today, my friends, for I have seen what me very well be the catalyst for a burgeoning civil war. A war between two sides that may have had their differences from time to time, but generally have lived in harmony for generations. I'm speaking, of course, about robins and squirrels.
Hard to believe, I know. I'd always thought of them as kindred spirits; stalwart compainions of misunderstood cartoon princesses the world over. But today I saw something that shook that belief to it's core. The battleground was a tree along the walkway of Boston Common. Two robins were chirping wildly, pecking and dive-bombing a squirrel that raced from branch to branch, trying to avoid the swiping attacks of the enraged birds.
Hoping not to get caught in the crossfire, I didn't stick around to see the scuffle to it's conclusion. Assuming it has concluded. The squirrel may have very well ran off to round up his furry bretheren, which could spell bad news for the robins. Sure, they have the advantage in aerial combat, but squirrels far outnumber robins in Boston Common. If the robins hope to win this thing, they're going to need the help of the pigeons, which would eaily increase the size of their forces ten times over. Add ducks and geese from the nearby Public Garden into the mix, and we're looking at a squirrel "ethnic cleansing" and the hands...err...wings of the flying forces. Whether it spreads beyond the park remains to be seen, but things could get real ugly real fast.
I'm not going to pretend to know which party instigated the attack, as they were already locked in the throes of battle as I walked by. I do know that there was a nest on one of the branches, so it could be that the nobel robins were simply protecting their brood from the shifty squirrel. Who knows? Maybe they heard the legend of the notorious "bird-eating squirrel", but the idea of the squirrel going after the robins' young is unlikely at best.
Another possibility is the robins, in a cocky display of their superiority, decided to put the fear of God into the lowly, innocent squirrel, taunting him with their cries of, "Look at us! We're better than you because we can fly!" and scratching him with their tiny but sort-of painful talons.
There are literally dozens of theories forming in my head right now, as I try to make sense of the day's events. The squirrel could have lashed out at the tiny robins in a retaliation by proxy of the deaths of thousands of squirrels killed by larger birds of prey. Or it could be that this squirrel and the one I saw ungracefully fall out of a tree a few months ago are one in the same, making him possibly the World's Unluckiest Squirrel.
Realistically, I'm currently leaning more toward a battle to determine ownership of the tree. That seems to be the most logical answer, but I won't rule out religious differences.
Now this could just be an isolated incident. More of a neighborly dispute than the beginnings of a worldwide avian-rodent war. But the truth is we just don't know. All we can do is look to the trees, be vigilant, and pray that neither side successfully masters uranium enrichment.
8 comments:
The robins are leading a preemptive strike. They claim the squirrels are distilling their nuts into a chemical compound known as NT40. NT40 could conceivably be converted into the gas "unmelodoxide," which in turn could potentially rob the robins of their ability to sing on key. The squirrels claim the nuts are being used for peaceful purposes, but two well-publicized incidents of rob-rob-robins suddenly not bob-bob-bobbing along hint at something much darker. This has gotten the world's attention. Check out this week's commentary on Pigeons_for_Peace.com for more details
The squirrels will ready be in trouble if the robins call in The Batman - especially since they're so fat!
Hmmm. Ever notice that "uranium" and "Iranian" sort of sound alike? You think maybe that's why they're hell-bent on enriching it?
Just sayin'.
Iranian uranium sounds like the beginning of a very bad jingle.
And, I wouln't count the squirrels out so fast, even if the Pigeons join the fray. Those bastards are sneaky.
I actually had my camera when this was all happening, but due to my various social disorders, both real and imagined, there were too many people around for me to comfortably whip out my camera and take pictures of two birds attacking a squirrel. Yeah, a visual would have been nice, but I felt too weird with everybody watching. It's stupid, I know, and it's pretty much the same thing that keeps me from ordering flavored coffee or asking the guy at the concession counter to mix the blue raspberry and cherry slush into one swirly drink, but what can you do?
Get hypnotized and wake up more self confident? Just don't let them keep you under for too long, or you come out of it like Richard Simmons. "I'm a pony, I'm a pony!"
Those dirty robins better watch themselves. All those squirrels have to do is call out their cousins from the sewers, and it's going to be on like Donkey Kong. Rats can take robins and pigeons both. Their teeth are much sharper and deadlier than those puny robin talons. It'd all be over in a heartbeat.
Yeah, can you imagine the Robins with an itchy talon over the button? You were right to let the world know. Perhaps we should involve the UN? Or the SPCA?
I don't know! I think the Robins are getting a bum rap. I've seen some pushy squirrels and some pretty angry squirrels. I've only seen them fight among themselves though. Now Blue Jays are another thing. I guess if they feel they are threaten by anyone or anything they all will do the diving at the object or people. The only thing that scares me with the birds - too protect you eyes because they go for them!
Too bad you didn't get the picture would have been nice to see!
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