Killer Hobos!

Last night I didn't get out of work until 7:30. And since the sun sets a little after noon these days, it was pretty dark when I started walking to the station. Along the way I was stopped by a guy who smelled like he was basted in Jack Daniels. He stood in front of me so I couldn't move.

"Hi. How are you doin'? I'm Nate. And first of all, I'm Nate." He said, grabbing my hand giving it an au pair shake. He actually told me his last name too, but I forgot it. Which is kind of pathetic, since he told me twice. At this point I had my hands in my pockets searching for change to make the smelly road block go away.

"I need you to do something for me. I just got out of Walpole prison and I...blah blah balh" Prison? Great. There was a bunch of people around, so at least I was fairly certain he wasn't going to shank me. I don't know if he mentioned that he was in prison looking for sympathy or intimidation, and I didn't really care. I just wanted him to make his point so I could be on my way. At some point during all this, he hugged me. After that I checked to see if my wallet was still there. He also probably told me he was Nate a few more times.

He said he needed ten dollars. I gave him fifty cents and said that's all I had. He said "Come on, man. I need ten dollars."

Are you kidding me? Who asks for ten dollars? Most people wouldn't even give the guy fifty cents and he wants ten bucks! I'd think it's a safe assumtion that he had ten bucks an hour ago when he got hammered. I gave him two quarters, patted him on the shoulder, said "good luck" and walked away. I was half expecting him to whip out a gun and blow a hole throw my chest. So much so that I was shaking from when I turned the corner all the way to the subway platform. He didn't, right? I started to wonder if I was like Bruce Willis walking around oblivious while my bullet-riddled body lay twitching on Stuart Street in front of Seven Eleven. I called Michele just to be sure I was still alive. As you may have guessed, I was.

Then I started wondering what would have happened if I had implemented my "In Case of Mugging" plan. Basically, I pretend I'm mentally-challanged and talk really loud.

Hi Nate! My name's Billy!

No Nate! You can't have my money! My daddy gave me this money, Nate!

Hey, it could work.