Lady and the Stamp

Here's a quick story from my mom:

Mom: Do you sell stamps?

Cashier: You mean like...food stamps?

Mom: No...postage stamps.

Cashier: I don't know what those are.

Bagger: (laughing)You know...to mail a letter?

Cashier: Oh. I've never done that.

I know people don't mail a whole lot of letters anymore, but she's never heard of postage stamps? Really? Maybe she should have asked ChaCha. Or maybe she did.

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From Russia With Love

And now, a Cold War-era Russian guy that looks like an Animatronic Steve Buscemi hypnotically yodel-singing. This was most likely meant to be used as some kind of doomsday device.

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An Important Christmas Message

Hello, and merry Christmas everyone. You know, with all the commercialism surrounding Christmas, it can be easy to forget what this day is all about. It's to celebrate the birth of someone who came into this world with a message of joy and peace. Someone who died, rose again, and will return again one day. So happy birthday, Frosty the Snowman!

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In A Country Far Far Away...

Snit (aka Droopy McCool). Jabba's palace. 1983.




Sara the walrus. Istanbul. 2008.



George Lucas is like Nerdstadamus. Who knew?

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I Just Blew My Mind

For some reason, Saw V is coming out this week. I guess they're just going to do that every year. The only Saw I ever saw was Saw. Whoa. That's weird. That's a lot of saws. Also, saw spelled backwards is was. And saw and was are past-tense verbs, of see and is, respectively. Si is Spanish for yes, and si spelled backwards is is, the present tense of was, which is saw spelled backwards.

Dick York, Dick Sargent, Sargent York!

I think I need to lie down.

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But I'm Your Density...

Why didn't George McFly divorce his wife when his son came out looking exactly like the guy that "helped" him get her to go out with him high school? Once Marty hit puberty, George should have been a little suspicious of the striking similarities. As if that wasn't bad enough, she named the kid after him, just to rub it in!

Maybe he just decided to let it slide. Why let one little indiscretion ruin a good thing? Maybe he thought, "It could be worse. At least he doesn't look like Biff."

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Nonfiction Books: Why I Hate Them, Why I Think Every Nonfiction Author Should Die A Horrible Death, And Why You Should Think So, Too

Why does every single non fiction book include a colon followed by a friggin' paragraph-long subtitle? That ticks me off a lot more than it probably should. It doesn't help that the two biggest offenders, political hit jobs and and self help books, are the two most deplorable genres anyone could ever write about. It's bad enough they're blood-sucking leeches, but do they have to be so obnoxious about it?

One of these days someone is going to write "CHAMPION!: The true story of how I overcame adversity, and against all odds, wrote a book with the longest subtitle in history and scored a bunch of chicks and a sweet movie deal, so look for Champion!: The true story of how I overcame adversity, and against all odds, wrote a book with the longest subtitle in history and scored a bunch of chicks and a sweet movie deal in theaters this Summer.



If I ever write a nonfiction book, The title will just be something short, followed by a colon. And the entire inside of the book will be the subtitle. Beat that, you stupid jerks.

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Coming this Summer

Today I learned that if you put Daniel Day-Lewis' head on Will Smith's body and tint the the whole thing orange, you get Vin Disel. I also learned Daniel Day-Lewis makes a great evil Grimace.

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