Thursday, May 08, 2008

Nonfiction Books: Why I Hate Them, Why I Think Every Nonfiction Author Should Die A Horrible Death, And Why You Should Think So, Too

Why does every single non fiction book include a colon followed by a friggin' paragraph-long subtitle? That ticks me off a lot more than it probably should. It doesn't help that the two biggest offenders, political hit jobs and and self help books, are the two most deplorable genres anyone could ever write about. It's bad enough they're blood-sucking leeches, but do they have to be so obnoxious about it?

One of these days someone is going to write "CHAMPION!: The true story of how I overcame adversity, and against all odds, wrote a book with the longest subtitle in history and scored a bunch of chicks and a sweet movie deal, so look for Champion!: The true story of how I overcame adversity, and against all odds, wrote a book with the longest subtitle in history and scored a bunch of chicks and a sweet movie deal in theaters this Summer.



If I ever write a nonfiction book, The title will just be something short, followed by a colon. And the entire inside of the book will be the subtitle. Beat that, you stupid jerks.

6 comments:

fakies said...

Well, at least you have a plan. I don't read political books or self-help books, so I'm sheltered from the idiocy. But if John Grisham ever writes a book called "The Rainmaker: A Lawyer, Not a Meteorologist, Though He Probably Could Make It Rain If He Wanted To, And If He Knew How to Dance For the Spirits of the Weather", then I'll be coming for him with a shotgun.

John said...

I don't read them, either. But I go to bookstores. And they've got those suckers everywhere. Sometimes the subtitle carries over onto the inside flap.

LL said...

That's a plan?

btw... I'm really looking forward to seeing that Champion thing in theatres this fall. I'm a sucker for those man bites dog stories.

Hey! And you're one post closer to making PinTA wrong... again.

NYPinTA said...

What am I supposedly wrong about?

Tony Gasbarro said...

The GOD Delusion, by Richard Dawkins, is non-fiction, without a subtitle, and was quite an invigorating read.

John said...

You crapped all over my point, sir!

OK, so not every nonfiction book, biographies tend to be safe, too.

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