Crap. I spent the last hour, and most likely the next one, trying to print an A6 envelope on the color printer. The multi-purpose tray has markings to show where an A6 envelope should go, but that size is inexplicably absent from the preset options for envelopes. It has A7, but not A6. Why did they bother marking it on the tray then?! There is a "custom" option, so I entered the A6 size in there, but it was positioned wrong and cut off most of the type. Oh, and it created big black imprints of the folds on the other side of the envelope all over the front.
I haven't been lucky enough to need to print on a pre-made non-number 10 envelope on this printer until now, but others in the office who've had to deal with it in the past said the best way to do it is to resize the document to 8.5 x 11, set the printer to the thick card stock setting, and tape the envelope to a regular piece of paper. And to avoid the imprint from the folds, I need to put thick paper in the envelope. We only have a limited number of envelopes, so before I taped any more of them to paper and filled them with other, smaller paper, I've been running practice sheets through until I can get the position right.
No matter what I do, they keep coming out wrong. It either cuts of the type, or prints everything but not in the area where the envelope is supposed to go. And I can't just move the envelope in those cases because it has to be on the same edge of the paper that is picked up by the printer's grippers. WHY IS THIS SO FREAKING HARD?
After noticing that I was just a smidgen visibly frustrated by my never-ending string of failed attempts, my boss suggested that I could print out the envelope copy on regular paper and glue it to the face of the envelope. It's a fair enough solution, and the envelopes are about the same color and brightness as our printer paper, so if I place it right at the seems no one will no the difference. But it's going to drive me nuts if I can't figure out why the damn envelopes won't print the way they're supposed to, so I'm going to keep trying until I get it right. Or the vein in my head pops. Either way, it's not looking good for that post I was planning for this morning. But I may lose my mind and throw the printer out the window onto Newbury Street.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Local Man Hit By Bus
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
John
14 comments
14 comments:
I can feel your pain in this, and I too, have wrestled with envelope printing long ago. So here's what I did:
Measure the envelope, then create a custom paper size. Then take the margins in about a quarter inch from the edge.
Now, I work on a Mac, so I'm doing this on Word and Apple Works, but it seems to work fine...
If all else fails, toss the thing out the window or do an "Office Space" treatment
Hey... it might not be a good post, but it is a post! No busses for you...
I've learned the hard way that when printing an envelope at home, you have to orient the envelope like it shows in Word, NOT like it shows on the printer's input tray. Stupid printers.
Oh yeah. I never said anything about a GOOD post. Woo-hoo!
I finally figured out how to orient the file the right way. I'm using InDesign on a Mac, which gives you four ways of orienting the page in the Print menu. I think what was screwing me up was that the multi-purpose tray on the printer considers the edge it grabs as the left side of the page rather than the top, regardless of which way you put the paper in. I'm pretty sure that was it. Well, whatever. I finally got it to work, then the paper jammed. So I had to use a thicker stock and try again. It went through all the way, but left huge smudges and streaks all over the envelope.
So I ended up doing the the thing were I just print it out on paper and glue it to the envelope. That worked fine for me. But it wasn't all for nothing; I had finished what I set out to do, figure out how to get the file to print out on the part of the page I wanted it to.
Man, that was sort of anti-climactic, wasn't it? Maybe I should have thrown the printer out the window. Or at least the multi-purpose tray. I hate that thing.
I already knew all of this!
the jerk store called...
Do you really want me to bring up the jerk store thing, "anonymous?"
How about the Italian cookies?
I suggest falling on the printer. That always teaches it a lesson.
Ahem... Post? As in New Post? Come on. You promised days ago.
Heck, Trina has 'sloth face' and managed to not only write up a humongous post with her one usable finger, but also managed to drop a comment here.
You must post, or the printer will have won. And you can't have that. No sir.
But now there's too much to write about and I don't know where to start. Here's the lineup of what I've got in the queue, it goes back for months...
• Moving into the town house That was last August, I think. The last time I posted on a "regular" basis. After that I had little time because...
• Mr. Schprock's arch-nemisis, Ms. Smith made the last few months of the year, right up to the holidays a living hell. She actually made me feel sorry for Joe. Don't worry, things are back to the way they should be and I want to throw rocks at him again.
• Our newest employee, Amy, (who actually started in October) and Joe's unsavory...um...infatuation? She's read all the Joe-kus, so she was somewhat prepared.
• Yet another employee and his...talent
• Christy can back up to visit Jose, and we went to the Olive Garden, where we talked about a previous time at the Olive Garden where we heard a father make a very unusal offer to his son...
• A revisit to that Canibal King song, with some new information
• Over 20 years later, Large Marge still frightens children.
• My conversation with Trina, who as most of you know, fell through a roof and ended up with Sloth face. This one was supposed to be an announcement as to what happened to her and why she isn't posting, but it turns out she actually managed to TYPE OUT A LONG-ASS POST USING ONE FINGER before I even put this one up. So it's a few weeks late...I'm sure there's still somebody who didn't know about it yet.
• The conclusion to Nick and Hedie's wedding story, which was to be on the 2nd Anniversary of the wedding. (and the 11th anniversary of Spleen Day)
• Man, I sure procrastinate alot. That wasn't going to be a post. I'm just saying.
• I took last week off from work because Brianna had April Vacation. We watched a bunch of movies, made a fort out of cushions, and went to a carnival. It was the best week ever.
• Two squirrels were found (very) dead in my grandmother's pool. I imagined a little squirrel CSI team trying to solve the case. I was hoping to get some gruesome photos but...
• Holy crap! My grandmother's pool is gone! I think Carmen San Diego took it. The worst part is, it contained evidence in the squirrel case! Also, my childhood memories are crumbling around me at an alarmingly rapid rate!
So that's how far behind I am. There are a few more, like one I wrote when that comedian killed himself and the singer from Boston died (he committed suicide too, but we didn't know that at the time). some of these things are time-sensitive, and if I don't publish them right away, they're sort of rendered irrelevant. I still have an account my my wrote of a dazed old woman wandering around my grandmother's driveway. That's at least two years old, before all the moving and sleeping on the floor craziness.
Anyway, do I just move on to something else, or try to catch up? While I'm writing these, what if something else happens that's too good not to share but I don't write about it because I'm still working on something from November and I fall behind even further. I need a designated "blogging time" I think.
Well, what should my next post be?
I suggest combining all the stories into one, Jacob's Ladder-like, tale and then add pictures. It'll be like one of those movies that seems like you're on an acid trip throughout. Summer blockbuster, here we come!
Well, what should my next post be?
Holy crap! That long-winded comment could have been your next post. :P
Done.
We really ran off with this Sloth face stuff, huh?
Can't print on an A-6. God. Question is, what can you do?
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