Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Don't Read This

18 days ago, I mentioned something about doing a Joe post. Then work got busy again so any hopes of hearing new Joe-isms were crashed. And now for the past few days I've had a cold. Nothing too bad, just a little coughing, lots of sneezing (at least 1 in 5 with gross, mucusy projectiles), and a constant nose drip. I mean literally CONSTANT. It refuses to stop running. How much more can possibly be in there? I'm starting to fear that eventually, my nose and, maybe even my entire head, will just dry up, shrivel and fall off.

I tore through a box of Kleenex yesterday, but all I have to show for it is a trash barrel filled with hardened, crumpled up tissues and the assurance that in a couple of days, I'm going to have those gross sores all under my nose.

But I've just made a medical breakthrough. If I stick Kleenix in my nostrils and hold it in place with a piece of tape that runs across the bridge of my nose to my cheeks, I can stop the dripping, and hopefully avoid the horrible sores from too much wiping. I've been wearing it now for twenty minutes. So far, so good! Take that, you lousy cold!

16 comments:

Josh said...

a 5 year old could have come up with that solution to the constant drip...

fermicat said...

OK. I didn't read it.

John said...

"a 5 year old could have come up with that solution to the constant drip..."

But they didn't. It was all me, baby.

Shatterfist said...

That's how I felt...only I didn't tape things to my face. Still, don't knock it till you've tried it, I guess.

fakies said...

Huh. Guess I should have obeyed the title.

At least you aren't hacking up things you can't chew.

Tony Gasbarro said...

trinamick said, "...at least you're not hacking up things you can't chew."

To which I add, "...yet."

An alternative solution to your drip, when the tissues become so soaked that you can't stand it: find a local winery and have them fashion special corks you can jam up there. It works! Have you ever seen a wine bottle leak? HAH?

mr. schprock said...

I think you should market this clever idea of yours: "Say 'no' to drippy noses with new 'No Drip,' the non-dripping, non-slipping nose napkin with the novel No Drip, drip-not design. Knowing noses know No Drip neutralizes the drip drop of drippy drips. Try No Drip today!"

Anonymous said...

you also still have to explain the apples song.

Josh said...

wasnt there supposed to be a joe post somewhere along the way?

NYPinTA said...

You can't still be sick! What the hell?
We need a chant when you slack off too much.

John said...

Just be glad I didn't fall through a roof

LL said...

Why?

John said...

I don't know. You got me.

Josh said...

cause it would probably be worse than that time you played football

fermicat said...

John - stop by the blog sometime. There is a little something waiting for you there.

Selena said...

I didn't read it either!

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