What's the Deal with All These Corpses?

While I was in bed last night, I thought of the perfect topic for today's post. I was going to write about this obnoxious and disturbing trend that'd really been bugging me, but no one had really mentioned until now. I was really surprised at how many people had just jumped on board with it, and I thought of all this funny stuff to stay. The only problem is, the trend doesn't exist. I was having some kind of insane dream. I hate when that happens.

In the dream, for whatever reason, people started displaying corpses all over the place. Human freaking corpses. Most were fakes; just decorative life-like lifeless bodies littering suburban lawns. You know those things they have now that are dressed in children's clothing that you prop up against the wall so it looks like a kid in "time out?" Well, everyone had like four or five bodies like that, only they were tipped over and positioned to look like there was a massacre on their lawns. Some of the bodies were just wire frames covered in clothing; others were more detailed and had realistic faces fraught with agony.

The more affluent among us displayed real corpses. And not simply dead bodies dug out of a grave to rot on the front porch, but carefully embalmed and mummified remains; either strewn about as if a massive tragedy had just occurred, or placed in elaborate scenes depicting either the departed's life or how they died. Some were happy, some sad, some were funny, and some were just in it for the gross factor. It all depended on the owner of the corpses' tastes. But no matter how they were displayed, each was painstakingly preserved for all eternity.

Even my parents' had some fake dead children spread throughout their yard, and on the hill leading up to my grandmother's house. I just kept thinking, "What the hell is going on? What's the deal with all these corpses?"

So...yeah. I don't know what brought all that up. Maybe my subconscious pulled it up from memories of watching something on the Discovery Channel a few months ago about a museum that showcased mummified human remains that are propped up in action poses, or the similar traveling exhibit that came to the Museum of Science last year. Maybe it's because of the My Name is Earl I saw a while ago where John Waters owned a funeral parlor that specialized in placing the deceased's body in a set piece that captured what they loved most in life. Maybe I was remembering the news story that the episode was probably based on, about the football fan who's last request was to be stuffed and placed in his favorite chair in front of a television watching a loop of his favorite team. I can't find a link, but I think it was either the Vikings or the Packers. Then there was another news story just a few days ago about a mummified body that was found in front of a blaring TV. The guy had been dead for over a year, with the TV on the whole time. Low humidity kept him preserved.

Maybe my subconscious was trying to make some kind of ironic statement about taxidermy. We display dead animals in all kinds of poses and positions. There's bears propped up to look menacing, various mounted heads...there's even fake dead animals. People have fake singing mounted bass, for Christ's sake. It's pretty sick. Especially if you imagine human corpses in their place. Or fake singing mounted human corpses. Imagine an isle full of those at Wal-Mart.

Who knows, maybe it's some combination of all of the above, or maybe it's just the way my twisted mind works. All I know is that was one messed-up dream. And I always get mad at myself when I wake up after a particularly surreal dream, for not realizing it was a dream while I was still asleep. Do you ever just get made at yourself like, "Come on, man! Your high school had your parents' living room in it and you could fly! How could you not know you were dreaming!"

Anyway, hopefully it was just a sick dream and not a prophetic vision of a dystopian future.