For whatever reason, there are women of all ages sashaying all over town wearing velour pants with the word "JUICY" prominantly displayed on their rears. Even little girls are wearing these things. That's just wrong on so many levels. Not only because the apparent message they're sending is "Look at me! I'm prepubescent sex kitten!" But also, well, do you really want a juicy ass?
It just sounds gross. It's like, lurking just beneath the velour surface is a pair of moist, brown-streaked undies. Is that really something you want to announce to the world? That standard dry toilet paper just isn't going to cut it for you anymore?
Actually, maybe some people should be forced to wear those pants, Scarlet Letter style. You know, as a warning to others. "Stand back! this thing could go off at any minute!" They could even branch out and make pants that say "I Just Had Broccoli."
I guess the designers were thinking more along the lines of the words of Sir Mix-A-Lot than about drippy brown poo-water. I'm just saying maybe they should have thought it out a bit before they slapped the word "Juicy" on the seats of their pants. But they make millions of dollars and I sleep on an air mattress in my parents' basement, so what do I know?
17 comments:
Someone should start spray-painting DUMBASS to cover JUICY. At least that'll be entertaining.
"That one squirted the pants a little. That was a squirter."
I have nothing to say about that post. I think I'm speechless that you think they way you do...
Here's one:
That's Gonna Itch When It Dries.
It's a much more powerful statement, if you ask me.
Certainly conveys the right message, but it's a bit long. You'd need a double-wide ass to fit that on there. Like the kind that needs special seats on the plane.
"Stank" could work. Short and to the point.
"I have nothing to say about that post. I think I'm speechless that you think they way you do..."
Do you see what I have to listen to everyday? This was the topic of conversation on the way to the train station today. Oy....
For the record, my mom brought it up.
Instead of JUICY, how about WIDE LOAD? Or CHEEK-TO-CHEEK?
"That's Gonna Itch When It Dries."
I'm still laughing! Good one!
"Exit Only" is a good one. Might save a lot of people a lot of trouble.
Tch. Next they'll be stamping HARD on men's boxers. Uh, wait a minute...
"HOT 'ROIDS"
"Next they'll be stamping HARD on men's boxers."
I saw a pair of Superman boxers the other day with "Man of Steel" written across the crotch. classy.
Did they have any Batman boxers? They could have said something about going down the Bat Pole.
Do you see what I have to listen to everyday? This was the topic of conversation on the way to the train station today. Oy....
LOL. Well, at least he isn't boring.
"LOL. Well, at least he isn't boring."
Never. My man is always interesting. ;)
Why not create a pair of jeans that says "Jail Bait" - spread evenly across both ass cheeks?
Is jail bait one word or two? I think ass cheeks might be a compound word also.
How about pants that say "Billy Joel" on the rear?
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