Aorta Be in Pictures

Remember when I made that appointment to see if I had Marfan Syndrome? Well, I just got back. Did you know that geneticists are located in the same part of the medical facility as the OB/GYN? I didn't. And neither did the lady behind the desk at the gynecologist's office apparently. I got some weird looks when I walked in there.

Can I help you?

Um, I'm here for an appointment.

With an OB/GYN?

Uh, no. Genetics.

She asked for my name, then she looked me up and asked me to sit down. So I sat there for about thirty-five minutes as wave after wave of female patients came in, sat down, were called into the office, and left. The lady behind the desk was talking to her co-worker about David Otunga, the guy from "I Love New York" who's engaged to Jennifer Hudson.

I had already made the co-pay downstairs and this is where the woman there directed me to go. I was starting to think I was in the wrong office, but the lady behind the desk assured me this was genetics, and the doctor would be out in just a few minutes.

The doctor finally came out to greet me. She was wearing plainclothes, like she was undercover. I guess I'm just used to doctors in those white smock things they wear, with a stethoscope around their neck and that circle thing on their head. Come to think of it, I've never seen an actual doctor wearing one of those circle things. She took me into her office and I sat down. The table next to me was overflowing with toys and Dr. Seuss books, and the front of her desk was covered with large, colorful magnetic letters. Near the bottom, someone had spelled out "Youkilis" using sideways "H"s for the "I"s.

She asked for some family history, I answered all of her questions to the best of my knowledge, and then we went into another room where she measured my height, armspan, and leg length. Then we went back to her office and she explained that loose connective tissues, which accounts for my flexibility and occasional hand-popping-out-of-the-socket-ness, is also the reason I had the hiccups for five days and why my throat closes up sometimes when I eat.

I didn't have to give up any of my precious bodily fluids, which was nice. But I do have to go back on January 20 to get 2 non-invasive tests; an ultrasound of my abdominal aorta, and an echocardiogram.

That's all I got for today. I was going to write "aorta" a few more times, but I don't remember everything the doctor said about it. I guess there's medication or something that can keep it from getting too big, because that's what happens. It explodes or something, I don't know. I feel better now that I've looked into all this stuff, anyway.

Posted in: weird ailments