That Time of Year

Despite years of research and billions of dollars in government grants, scientists are still baffled by Joe's uncanny ability to work an old TV show called Captain Nice, into a conversation. Upon mentioning Captain Nice, he will offer a nugget like, "It starred Mr. Feeny", before switching the subject to another obscure short-lived TV series, Mr. Terrific. Perhaps most amazingly, every time this nostalgia bug bites him, he has absolutely no recollection of any of the previous times he's mentioned the same thing, virtually word for word, yet he can remember that the Cap'n's secret identity was Carter Nash.

Since 2001, when we both started working here, he's brought up Captain Nice and Mr. Terrific at least once a year. Most times he's testing John T. on his memory of old TV shows. Today, roughly the sixth he brought it up in as many years, he brought up Captain Nice because he wants to find the series on DVD. And just to keep the pattern going, he said he'd also like to find Mr. Terrific. The last time he asked John T. if he remembered them, I actually called him out on it, telling him that even though they were on before I was born and I'd never seen an episode, I felt like I knew all about them because this was like the fifth time he'd talked about them. He looked surprised.

I know (but I wish I didn't) they debuted on rival networks on the same night one right after the other, and they both aired their last episode on the same night seven months later. And for some reason, I know that while they both lasted only one season, Captain Nice is generally regarded as the better of the two. And bonus points for his costume, which may or may not have been the basis for USA Network's old b-movie host Commander USA. Probably not, though.

Anyway, This time Joe was in T's office and I was standing in the doorway. Once again, after saying he wanted to find the DVDs, Joe asked if he remembered Mr. Terrific. Then he looked at me and said, "You wouldn't remember, you're too young." Pretty much the exact same thing he said last time. And the time before. Without a trace of evidence that he remembered this conversation from any of the previous times we've had it. At least the first time I legitimately hadn't ever heard of either Captain Nice or Mr. Terrific. Now I feel like I'm they're friggin' biographers.

Incidentally, there are inexplicably more than a few pages out there dedicated to the defunct duo. Study them. Learn them. Try not to giggle like a schoolgirl when one of the pages incorrectly refers to William Daniels, voice of TV's KITT, appearing in a show called Boy Meets Boy. Use this information well. If you ever meet Joe in a dark alley and he starts waxing nostalgic for the caped exploits of Carter Nash and Stanley Beamish, and you're out of pepper spray, overwhelm him with your encyclopedic knowledge until he goes away. At least until next year.

Posted in: Joe