Damn You, Farrago!

It seems I've been tagged. Again. I don't know if you're familiar with the process, but once tagged, you are required by law to divulge five previously unknown facts about yourself that will inform and frighten anyone foolish enough to stumble onto them. So let's get started... 1. I read a quote in the sports section of the Metro this morning that I haven't been able to figure out all day. The quote belonged to a park ranger, who was commenting on three survivors of a plane crash. He said, "If these guys were a cat with nine lives, they just used up three of them." I know he was trying to convey that they were lucky, but if the three guys were one cat? What does that mean? Why do you need three guys to make a cat? Are they forming Voltron? Could he have meant if each of the three guys were...

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The Phone is Dead. Long Live the Phone!

Last weekend we watched Click. I'm sure you remember how that turned out. This weekend we saw Bridge to Terabithia. Wow. I've got to start researching these movies before we watch them. I knew it was based on a book, but having never read the book, I didn't really know what to expect. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but it's not even close to what I was expecting based on the previews. The commercials made it look like a Chronicles of Narnia sort of movie. Yeah. Not so much. It was a lot closer to My Girl. I remember seeing My Girl on HBO, unknowingly assuming I was watching an innocent, care-free little kid's movie, then BLAM! I remember...

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What's the Deal with All These Corpses?

While I was in bed last night, I thought of the perfect topic for today's post. I was going to write about this obnoxious and disturbing trend that'd really been bugging me, but no one had really mentioned until now. I was really surprised at how many people had just jumped on board with it, and I thought of all this funny stuff to stay. The only problem is, the trend doesn't exist. I was having some kind of insane dream. I hate when that happens. In the dream, for whatever reason, people started displaying corpses all over the place. Human freaking corpses. Most were fakes; just decorative life-like lifeless bodies littering suburban lawns. You know those things they have now that are dressed in children's clothing that you prop up against the wall so it looks like a kid in "time out?" Well,...

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The Mystery of The Cannibal King

Trina shared some of her grandpa's crazy-ass old-timey songs, and while some of them helped to explain how she got where she is today, a few of them I recognized from my own impressionable youth. But one of the songs absent from her list has been running through my head lately, and as is the case with such things, I can't get it out until I pass it along to someone else. If you or anyone you know has an AARP card, then you've probably sang, or were forcibly made to listen to someone else sing, about the enigmatic Cannibal King. The Cannibal King, the legend goes, had a big nose ring. The king falls in love, but after that, the legend gets a bit hazy. My dad, and to a lesser extent, his sister, always used to sing this song, but apart from them, I'd never heard it anywhere else. Ever. It's...

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Good Grief, The Comedian's a Bear!

Sunday night we decided to watch the movie Click. Brianna wanted to see it when it came out last year, because they showed commercials for it on Nickelodeon, but we didn't get around to seeing it in the theater. But here it was On Demand, for three bucks. I didn't know how age-appropriate an Adam Sandler movie was, but if they advertised on Nickelodeon it can't be too bad. So we watched it. It's Adam Sandler. It's a light-hearted comedy. Ha Ha! What fun! What could possibly go wrong? Apparently they forgot to mention that midway through the movie, they drop the light-hearted comedy in favor of hardcore depression. If you don't know the plot,...

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CMPAL!

Okay, first of all, it's Valentine's Day. For one more hour, anyway. Yesterday I drew and printed out cards with little bears on them for Brianna to give to the kids in her class, to break up the monotony of all the Disney Princess/SpongeBob Squarepants/Ninja Turtle store-bought cards all the rest of the kids brought in. Drawing the bear was the easy part. The hard part was thinking of something to write on them. I thought of just going with a generic "Happy Valentine's Day!" But according to the school calender, February 14 is "Red and Pink Day". I didn't know if this was some asinine PC re-imaging of Valentine's Day, which would be completely...

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Robert Goulet is Messing With my Stuff

Yesterday was the Super Bowl. I watched the game at Eric's house like last year. I don't really want to talk about the game, but to sum up, Rex Grossman proved to be the better quarterback by single-handedly winning the game for the Colts. Yet he was robbed of the MVP award just because of all the sentimental fawning over perennial bridesmaid Peyton Manning. Grossman (or "Gross, Man!" as every sports headline writer on the planet referred to him this morning) did everything he could to ensure the Colts' victory. He threw interceptions, fumbled, turned an easy second and one into third and twenty-two, and otherwise made sure that Chicago's offense was on the field for as little time as possible. And did anyone on the Colts' side even bother to thank him for his tireless effort to help their...

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